If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
