I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
