Do vagina's smell?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Congratulations! We have a period
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