I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
we're so committed to being not committed
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