i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
