..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
