do herpes really smell.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
