never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
