How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
