The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I can't put those talents on a resume
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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