I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
