i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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