I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
