Cold hands, warm shart.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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