I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
