I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
