the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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