I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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