somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
