you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
