Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
