I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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