she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
