I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
