Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
