You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
