I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
