i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
