Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
