I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
