D3 body, D1 cock
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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