I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
