ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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