He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
