I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
