She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
