Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
