your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she peed on how many people?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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