I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
