"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
