508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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