dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
