Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
