yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
