she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
