I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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