Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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