saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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