like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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