This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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