I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
